I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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