it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
