She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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