Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
