Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
