The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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