How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Come on in and take your pants off
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