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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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