I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
