I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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