community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
