dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
