The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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