he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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