How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
