oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
