Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
