Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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