Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've blown a few things in my day
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
