i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
