I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
