ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
