your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
