a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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