I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
