I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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