I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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