According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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