So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
40s are totally the cure
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
