After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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