You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
