please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
