So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
