After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
