Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
