I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
