You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
