Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
