Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
