There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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