good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
