i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
