i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
