But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
