Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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