so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize