Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
someone get that fucking seahorse.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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