He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
