just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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