Screwed.edu
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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