due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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