Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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