we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
