I wanna bring you to show and tell
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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