Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
