Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
