You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How does one acquire holy water?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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