well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
