i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
