***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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