Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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