A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
