Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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