chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
