She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
