god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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